Forever Alone? More like Forever Betrayed.

I don't know about any of you, but I never considered that maybe my standard for how a friend should treat me may just be too high for the average person.

I came here, to my university, last September, to make a new life for myself. The last month of my high school experience was one one of the most lonely times of my life. A close friend of mine was dying, and actually had several times. He had been resuscitated many times and I'm sure as you can imagine, I was extremely torn up. I was, as would be expected, very depressed and withdrawn that week. But, instead of asking me what was wrong and trying to help me, they turned their backs on me. They just randomly stopped sitting with me at lunch, leaving me completely alone. I was alone for the last month of high school, dealing with friend's illness, dealing with the loneliness and betrayal I felt. I wouldn't do something like that to any friend of mine... it's just so hard for me to understand their reasons.

I was hoping to find a new group of friends, people who would truly care about me. At first, I thought I had; they were nice, we went shopping and to the movies, actually did things together... But I lived in a separate dorm, the more expensive dorm. My four friends lived in the other. I didn't expect this would be a problem. I mean...how difficult is it to send me a text message saying: 'Hey, we're going ____, would you like to join us?' But it is.

I am the type of person who will always wait for you to get your things before leaving for class; miss the bus and catch the next one with you just because you weren't able to make it on time; make a late night run to Burger King JUST because you asked me to and didn't want to go alone. I consider these people my best friends, only real friends on the island actually, and yet I don't believe they feel the same way about me. I've done all of the things I just mentioned, and even more... and yet they've done the opposite of each one. They've left me scrambling to get my things because they've left me behind; they left me stranded, waiting for the next bus because they didn't want to miss THAT bus; they've refused to join me in going even just across the street, and yet expect me to go when they ask me at 11:30pm.

One of my friends didn't come back after Christmas break, so now I was down to just three friends. I thought hey, maybe they'll start treating me like more of a friend now that I wouldn't be the 'fifth wheel'. I was wrong. Once, I had sent a text to each one of them separately, asking if they would accompany me to Burger King which is actually visible from their dorm room window. The first came up with a decent excuse: 'I'm studying biology right now, sorry!' The second came up with literally the most bullshit excuse I have EVER heard: 'I've had a lot of burgers recently and I don't really feel like eating any burgers for a while.' At first my reaction was disbelief; burgers are not the only damn thing they sell. Then the third friend messages me back: 'Yeah, sure! Meet me in five minutes.'

Obviously, I was quite happy. Someone had finally agreed to accompany me! I get ready and head down to meet her. Low and behold, ALL of them were there, including the liar who said she didn't feel like eating a burger. I couldn't believe it, it felt like she had lied straight to my face, like she didn't want to go alone with me. It pissed me off because literally every single time they've asked me to go anywhere I've agreed and gone whether I've had the money to or not.

Now, I'm not unreasonable. I know that sometimes they really are busy, whether they have a class in 20 minutes or they're completing an assignment due the next day. I understand things like that, but when they exclude me from BIRTHDAY plans.... I honestly don't understand. Right now, as I'm writing this, they're over in their dorm getting drunk. The girl who didn't come back after Christmas break? She's here, right now, over there with them. She even posted a status saying she would be here this weekend, with 'the girls' and tagged every single one of them but me. Now isn't that just great.

Now I'm sure some of you are thinking, 'Man, this girl is making a mountain out of a mole hill.' Fortunately for you, you don't know just how much bullshit I put up with in my every day life. Both online and in the 'real world.' My best friend is someone who isn't even in my country, and I would trust him with my life. And yet, I can't even trust the friends I've met to wait for me before leaving for the bus. Something in my life is going to change, and real soon.